MMA

Nate Diaz Goes Full Richard Sherman on Henderson, Thomson and Pettis

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By now many people have seen Nate Diaz’s Twitter rant but some are confused as they do not speak Diazese. Now, I am not fluent but I can converse in it so I am here to breakdown his message and bring some clarity and understanding for the masses.

First, his message, almost like a Diaz PSA:

“Last nights fight was wack first of all these guys are here to cause confusion I’m here to put these ass whooping down to there maximum effect an u got these guys out here havn a wrestling match they’re smiling an shaking hands and havin a good old time instead of fighting for real they’re play fighting and this shits putting me to sleep thats not what i signed up for nobody wants to watch that shit and it’s definitely causing confusion to the fans and the fighters I don’t know who’s judging these fights they shouldve both lost the fight
Then u got the other motherfucker playing his hollywood roll on the sidelines in his #sillyasssuits gettin paid to sit there and state his bullshit opinion like anyone gives a fuck you been here like 2 years and pulled out of half ur fights so I don’t know why u think ur calling the shots how about you win another fight or 2 then maybe you can fight me motherfucker…
ps. I though thompsons bitchass won the wrestling match…”

Okay first off it is safe to say that E.E. Cummings is Diaz’s favorite poet. He is also one of mine. Also, it is apparent that Diaz is in a war with auto-correct. Just typing out his statement has given mine a nervous breakdown. Despite that there is a lot of awesome sauce in that statement so let me clarify a few things. Here is my translation below.

The Henderson versus Thomson main event was a mess. They way they fought just led to confusion and no one knows how to score such a fight. I (Diaz) come to kick ass to the max every time. (Unless I am fighting against either Thomson or Henderson than my style leads to me getting my ass kicked.) These two just wrestled (and everyone knows wrestling sucks and is boring as shit) and seemed more interested in hanging out having tea together rather than actually hitting each other. All of this play fighting (and the weed I smoked) put me to sleep. Thats not why I tuned in to watch and nobody wants to watch it even if it is free. I don’t know who is judging these fights and it is all confusing. This fight was so boring they both deserve to lose. Then you got Anthony Pettis looking all fancy and Hollywood in his suits sitting on the sidelines like always. I can’t believe that he is getting paid to talk on TV and I am not. He hasn’t even given one shout out. No one cares about Pettis’ bullshit opinion just because you have the belt. You’ve only been around two years and don’t even fight most of the time because you are injured and you pull out of them all of the time. Just because you have the title doesn’t mean you get to call the shots (even if it does give more juice and technically do call some of the shots, and you do seem like the type who takes the bait so maybe if I insult you enough you will call me out. See next statement.). Maybe if you go out and win another fight or two than we can fight motherfucker (at least that is what I am praying for every night, that and I don’t ever want to fight the Russian guy with the funny hat that dude is scary). P.S. Even though I think he is a punk ass bitch (and because he almost kicked my head off of my shoulders) Thomson won that weak ass boring as shit fight.

I hope this helps you understand Diaz’s rant a little bit better. I think the only thing the rant was missing was a shoutout to the #LOD. The Legion of Diaz is in full effect.

cover image via telegraph

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