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Impact Wrestling (3.30.17) play-by-play and review



After a long week of trying to avoid spoilers or any kind of latest news from Impact Wrestling, it’s finally time to catch up. So let’s get right into it.

Just as the new regime is making moves inside and outside of the ring, the show begins showing a meeting of the minds that make decisions behind the scenes of this program. Dutch and Bruce are joined at the meeting table by both Josh Mathews and Jeremy Borash. With an insulting tone, Josh Mathews complains and questions basically everything that is discussed at this meeting, focusing on Ethan Carter, to which Josh Mathews is in full support. There is an obvious rift and difference in opinion between the representatives of the announce team.

Coming to the ring, Karen Jarrett digs in and delivers a speech about the attitudes of the knockouts in the locker room. She calls out Sienna first, as to which she has been treating other knockouts badly. Karen Jarrett even goes far enough to basically calling Sienna a bully. Intensity builds in the eyes of these two ladies and the crowd seems to be really enchanted by the tones and energy of these two women.

Sienna responds quickly, showing no fear in stepping up to Karen in “her house”. This meeting between Karen and Sienna begins to get heated as the names of Allie are mentioned. Karen again gets a little physical by actually delivering a slight head but to Sienna to back her off a bit.

More words are exchanged, and even some vicious stares are exchanged. At this, Sienna compares her abilities, and says she earned her spot, instead of riding the coat tails of her husband. Before long, the Impact Zone is graced by the presence of K.M. This big guy,has travelled many roads with Sienna and shows much support for her. He shuts down Karen several times, and actually begins a countdown for Karen to deliver an apology to Sienna. To much of the disdain of Josh Mathews, Braxton Sutter and Allie storm the ring and Sienna and K.M. has been run off. This all leads to the announcement that this match will happen later tonight.

If you are a wrestling fan and do not know about the X Division you are truly missing out. Made up of younger more agile talent kind of like the old school cruiserweight decision, these future legends give it their all each and every week for what is arguably the most covered title in Impact Wrestling.

DJ Z vs. Andrew Everett

Don’t blink, because if you do monumental move sets will be missed. Reversals and high spots are the order of business in between the death defying Ariel assaults. If anything will wake up a snoring crowd, it is a high risk maneuver from the top turnbuckle. This theory serves true as the crowd seems to get louder as the longer this match goes on. Everett is called “Skywalker” and he lives up to this name showing off several high-flying moves including a devastating spring-board dropkick. After several kicks and a beautiful reversal by DJ Z it looked as if Everett was finished. With a quick reversal into a roll up pin Andrew Everett shocks DJ Z with a victory.

Shane Helms comes out to deliver a promo about how it was Helms who was responsible for any success Andrew Everett had. Of course, being the giving spirit he is, Helms grants Everett an opportunity to prove his worth in the X Division. It looks like the door is open for Everett to get a title shot.

Winner: Andrew Everett

Through distasteful language, even talking about lawyers and court systems Josh Mathews goes on a rant about him belonging at the announce table.

Rosemary is introduced next labeled as one of the most dominant stars in the knockouts division. As she names all of the knockouts she has beaten in her tenure she is very believable as everything she brings forth is technically the truth.

It is ODB who disrupts this energetic promo. This four-time knockout champ completely has the fans behind her, and she even offers a “cheers” towards Rosemary this leading up to her challenging Rosemary to a title match. Rosemary dismisses this challenge and tries to quietly escape but is met on the ramp by basically the rest of the knockouts division.

All of these women enter the ring and the is musical chairs with the microphone until all heck breaks loose and the camera fades as ODB is pounding away on anyone and everyone in her way.

Ham and eggs slap nuts is the highlight of the name calling at the announce table as Josh Mathews is on another rant. He goes on and on about how ignorant Jeremy Borash is, and even going as far as to challenge Borash to a team fight since Borash could not compete with Mathews personally in the ring.

Ethan Carter is about the only one who could stop this madness and does so coming down to the ring. Much to the support of the crowd, EC3 cuts a promo about how he has beaten “nearly” everyone in the locker room. He owns up to his actions and apologies to the fans and to even Karen Jarrett.

James Storm comes out and questions EC3 about whether or not EC3 mentioned him. This leads to James Storm grabbing the microphone and delivering a heartfelt message to EC3 about the most impressive things they had ever seen. Leading further into the respect for each other, it now comes to the surface that James Storm feels that he deserves another shot. Playing pop comparisons with different sections of the crowd leads to an absolute eruption of chanting. I am not sure about the reader of this article, but I feel like this could lead up to a very good match involving one of the original work horses for the company pitted against one of the youngest and most marketable personality the company has to offer. Acknowledge it or not, he is the future of the business and with his charisma it is only a matter of time before he wears the championship again in the near future. As he is deserving, there are others waiting in the wings who in all technicalities ( El Patron) should have an opinion on this matter. Such a very exciting time in the series of events regarding the contendership to be the champion.

Garza/Laredo Kidd cut a promo regarding their preparedness and their deserving a chance in impact wrestling. This leading into another promo, this time from Reno Scum. These guys are complete rock and roll, and let everyone know about it. They are confident anther everyone will chant for them.

Coming to the ring, accompanied by Brandi Rhodes, Cody! Finally, getting to settle this score with Moose and this match is for the Impact Grand Championship.

Cody Rhodes w/ Brandi vs. Moose (c)

Round 1: With 3 minutes making up each round, this match is sure to serve us some quality action. Heavy chops and headbutts are delivered by the big man Moose, but Cody ends up hitting a tornado DDT from the top turnbuckle. It should be noted that Cody motions to the judges to write those points down, as they were ” too sweet”. Moose takes control with several huge moves and the action spills outside. As with most brawls, anything can happen outside with this match being no exception. It is unprecedented, as Moose dodges a super kick, but the score keeper was not so lucky. Falling to the floor, gasping for air, medics rush to the aid of the score keeper, as the bell sounds to end round one. This round was full of back and forth strikes and it looks as if Cody has the momentum.

Round 2: Josh Mathews is completely livid when the winner of round 1 is announced as Moose. Again the action spills to the outside floor. Cody, going for it all tries an arial assault but is caught , and powerbombed to the apron. This match is taking its toll on both men and again Cody takes advantage of a worn down Moose and nearly makes Moose tap with a submission. The round ends with everyone wondering if Moose is going to tap.

Round 3: This round starts off in favor of Moose who even delivers a very impressive dropkick to Cody who sits on the top turnbuckle. This is a true battle of pride and it boils down to both athletes pounding on each other. This round ends in a physical stalemate. There is an argument between the Pope and Josh Mathews on who won this match. Then it is revealed.

Winner: And still, your Impact Grand Champion – Moose.

In tragic turn of events, the legendary “Wolves Nation” is under a state of emergency. Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards have a feud going on that can only mean the tragic humiliation of his opponent. This has been going on for several months now and things have nearly reached a booking point. This vignette leads these two into their battle to determine who is really the top dog in Wolves Nation.

It looks as though a gauntlet Battle Royal will determine the #1 contender for the knockouts title. This announcement brought to you by Jeremy Borash, who this message was hand delivered by Karen Jarrett. Josh Mathews tries to get a few smart comments in to impress Karen mostly to where Borash is the butt of the joke. This banter leads us to our next match which was made earlier by Karen Jarrett herself.

KM w/ Sienna  vs. Braxton Sutter w/Allie

This looks to be the makings of a very technical match. These two big guys, both have great personality as valets to the ring, and Sienna gets a lot of heat for chasing Allie around the ring on occasion. KM quickly ends the match with a devastating powerbombed to the knees it was a solid, clean win for KM and Sienna quickly enters the ring to torment Allie who is tending to her fella.

Winner: KM w/ Sienna

Laurel Van Ness, “of course” appears and yet still in that wedding dress. Pope apparently is under the same interpretation as this writer that Laurel hasn’t looked better. Her makeup as you would guess has smeared a little and now it looks like Rosemary and Laurel share the same makeup artist.

Laredo Kid Garza Jr vs. Decay (Abyss/Crazy Steve) vs. Reno Scum  vs. L.A.X. (Ortiz/Santana)

Action is the word of the day. In these four-way tag matches, anything is possible and unique things happen in an instant. These new youths that have continued L.A.X. are exciting with strong moves Although they deliver several heart stopping suplex moves they are neutralized by Abyss. In a surprising turn of events, a brawl breaks out between everyone involved in the match. Decay representatives are battling Reno Scum, this all to be joined by the members of L.A.X. Fans are going crazy along the guard rails as the fighting ensues on the entrance ramp. In amazing timing and outstanding courage the Laredo Kid comes from the top turnbuckle, to the outside taking out several opponents outside. Fans chant loudly, but then are rewarded further with another death-defying Ariel assaults from Garza Jr. This sequence of events is absolutely extraordinary As these athletes are beaten down, the action gets under control and back into the ring. This all happens to land in favor of Decay. Heavy offensive from Reno Scum as they tag in and out amongst themselves. Santana and Ortiz finally get in to deliver some wonderful double team maneuvers and this leads up to them getting the pinfall cleanly.

Winners L.A.X.( (Ortiz/Santana)
New Tag Team Champions

There is a lot of energy in this episode and the matches prove that those who are on the roster of Impact Wrestling actually care and love what they do. Though the theme is “change”, there are very strong parallels to the Glory days of this industry. This was a very strong episode and it should be noted that if there was ever an alternative for mainstream “entertainment” impact delivers time and time again.

This articles comes to you via Joseph Hood

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