RAW Report 4/22/13 From London

London RAW Set: All Photos Credit WWE

We’re in foggy Londontown for WWE RAW this week, and it should be a special event.  The Undertaker makes his way back on to RAW as a competitor for the fist time in a very long time, as he joins forces with Team Hell No to battle The Shield.  That’s a money match guaranteed. 

The last two weeks, RAW has experienced a bit of a post Wrestlemania lull, but I’m hoping that stops tonight.  There should be some fun Cena/Ryback stuff as well as HHH answering Brock’s challenge.  Here we go, it’s time for RAW.  

Facial Expressions? Heyman is the Best in the World!

Anytime Paul Heyman is on television, it’s bound to be a good piece of work.  He comes down; to   He reads it, and it says HHH never turns down a fight, but due to injuries, he’ll answer next week.  Paul runs him down a bit and then, Oops…here’s HHH’s music and The Game makes his way to the ring proving Heyman wrong. 
read an email response from Hunter who he says is not in the building.

HHH has never been speedy-ah on-ah the mic-ah, but he doesn’t torture us tonight, and gets to the matter at hand.  He accepts the steel cage match challenge and just in case the fans weren’t already happy, BOOM, Pedigree on Heyman for good measure.  HHH will pay for that.  On a side note, there is nobody in the sports entertainment business who can match the facial expressions of Heyman, he is just top notch. 

Nice way to kick off Raw, and the fans seem to be in the mood for a good time. 

Winner:  HHH

Loser: Heyman

What’s Next: Heyman will get even, and we’re on our way to a heck of a cage match at Extreme Rules.

R Truth is on a roll! Cesaro, not so much!

Something doesn’t add up here for Cesaro.  Last week he lost his US Title to Kofi Kingston who had virtually no forward momentum, and this week, he puts over R-Truth in a bit of a short squash match.  Why the hell is the WWE punishing one of the best talents on their roster?  Oh and R-Truth’s “What’s up” rap on the way to the ring is horrendous, and second only to boxer Adrian Broner in terms of unbearable ring entrances.  Best part was JBL saying Cole had the rhythm of a drunken elephant when he tried to rap along.  Cesaro yodeled his way to the ring to add to the misery.

After a bit of back and forth, R-Truth, who has all the charisma of school bus fire, gets the win with some kind of botched finisher that had all three announces in unison saying, “Oh”.  Nothing like, “Oh” to put over your finisher.  R-Truth has beaten Wade Barrett and Antonio Cesaro in back to back weeks.  Odd.

Winner:  R-Truth

Losers: Announce Team & Cesaro

What’s Next:  I don’t know, anything is possible at this point.

Sandow needs free of this madness!

It looks as if we’re splitting up the two tag teams tonight, and giving them each individual matches.  So now instead of sitting through one segment of Tons of Funk, we get two.  Oh Joy.  Sandow comes out with Rhodes and will take on Clay in the first of what are sure to be instant classics. 

Clay overpowers Sandow early, and hits some headbutts to take control of the match.  Sandow nearly gets pinned, and finally comes back with some offense of his own, and gains control of the match.  Sandow with the Elbow of Disdain, which is the finest name for any wrestling move, ever, and gets a two count.

Clay gets his game going and nails a big splash on Damien and then hits him with the suplex, but focuses his attention to Rhodes, chasing him off of the apron, which turns out to be a critical mistake.  Clay turns around, Sandow with the cheapshot and the roll up for the victory.  Nothing to write home about here. 

Winner: Sandow

Loser: Brodus Clay and those fans that don’t dig the shtick

What’s next:  I’m guessing Cody Rhodes and Sweet T. 

Ziggler gets a much needed win tonight!

This was a tremendous match, like I knew it would be.  These guys are really good at what they do, and the match didn’t need all the interference from AJ and Big E.  Back and forth match, plenty of near falls, and also, plenty of Big E hitting Jericho and AJ distracting the referee. 

Ziggler is a talented offensive wrestler, but my goodness, he is even a better seller.  He takes moves perfectly, sells them just right and always transitions into the perfect spot.  He is going to be a star in the WWE for a long time, and he will have future World Title runs where he is actually the man in carrying the show. 

Jericho hit a very nice superplex and gets a 2 count out of it.  He then hit his codebreaker, and it looked like he was booking his spot in Extreme Rules, but Ziggler kicked out.  After some more offense, Jericho dropkicks Big E off of the apron, and gets the Walls of Jericho on Dolph Ziggler.  It looks bad for Dolph, really bad…but then, we hear the music of Fandango.  Yes, that music.  It’s enough to distract Jericho who releases the hold. 

Fandango is nowhere to be seen, but Ziggler hits the Zig Zag and gets the pin on a distracted Chris Jericho.  Great match, and Fandango (let the A’s breathe) is getting things done, even when he doesn’t show up. 

Winner: Fandango…oh and of course Dolph Ziggler

Loser:  Chris Jericho

What’s Next:  I feel like Jericho will find a way either into the match at Extreme Rules with Ziggler, or more likely, settle his score with Fandango there.

Ugh, did I mention I hate Sweet T?  Not the drink, it’s delightful, I am speaking of Albert/Tensai  He will never get over as a face in this business, and will never get over as a make believe character as a heel.  Want to get Matt Bloom over?  Have him wrestle under his own name, give him jeans, a wifebeater and MMA gloves, and just let him do work.  He has skills, but none of them will get him over a dancing buffoon. 

Sweet T Splash! Matt Bloom stuck in gimmick hell, again!

/Sweet T/Matt Bloom.

Cody Rhodes is also at a crossroads (no pun intended) here, as he has been repackaged, teamed with Sandow, and truth be told, it’s not going gangbusters for him either.  This match is basically a barometer to try and gauge who is less over between the two talented, but hamstrung wrestlers.  Well, we learn in fairly short order that Rhodes is lower on the totem than Sweet T, who was given a chance to shine and use some of his physical gifts by tossing Rhodes around. 

Sweet T gets the win, splitting their matches at one apiece tonight, and likely extending this feud out another week, or two….or twelve. 

Winner:  Sweet T

Loser:  Cody Rhodes

What’s Next:  Maybe next week we get Rhodes/Clay and Sandow/Sweet T?  Who knows at this point?  It’s paint by numbers with all four of these guys.

Ryder takes it all in stride.

You don’t need a crystal ball to know that Ryder is doing the job tonight.  He’s so low on the midcard, that he actually parks cars until 7:55 and then comes in and gets dressed.  Tonight, in the role of hammer is Big E Langston…and per the norm, Ryder plays the nail.

I think Ryder is on the come up, because he actually was allowed to have an offensive maneuver this week, utilizing a second rope dropkick, before being unloaded on, defeated and left to reconsider his role in the world of the WWE.  Remember when you were talking to Eve, Cena liked you and Kane was kicking your ass?  Oh the good old days. 

Winner:  Langston I suppose

Loser:  The Long Island Iced Z. 

What’s Next:  More wins for Langston & a split with Dolph.  More parking of cars and doing an occasional spot on RAW for Ryder. 

Teamwork like Champions, The Shield take out Taker.

The Phenom is down to the ring first, followed by the Shield who enter via the crowd.  They  
surround, attack, and the pyro explodes and Team Hell No run down to make the save and start the match.

This one is big, and the fans are hot for it.  Daniel Bryan and Ambrose are in the ring as the match officially starts.  Some great wrestling between the two, and Kane gets tagged in, nails Ambrose for the first two count of the match.  The Undertaker comes in and looks very good, utilizing some great power moves, and Taker tags in Kane and the fans let cheer Taker on with a robust “You’ve Still Got It” chant.  This is a good match, as you might expect from six quality wrestlers. 

Daniel Bryan had an excellent segment in this match, where he did a little bit of everything.  You can see how well The Shield works together, but there is a lot of symmetry between Kane and Bryan as well, and as a result we’re being treated to a genuinely good match.  Bryan hits the air, takes out Rollins on the concrete, and then flies again nailing a dropkick on Rollins in the ring.  The fans are going crazy. 

Everyone is tagging in and out and the Undertaker wants in the on the action.  When he does get in, he absolutely cleans house, dominating the match, culminating in a two count on Ambrose.  Taker then gets drilled by a huge spear by Reigns and gets a two count out of it. 

All six men are brawling all over, and Daniel Bryan goes up top to hit his flying goat headbutt to close the match. He leaps and Ambrose moves out of the way, and gets the 1-2-3 on the stunned Daniel Bryan, giving the Shield the victory.  Great match!

The Shield exit via the crowd.

Winners:  The Fans and The Shield

Losers:  Nobody really, but Daniel Bryan got pinned.

What’s Next:  MORE PLEASE.  Hopefully more of this! 

Fandango….let the A’s Breathe.

We’re in London and Regal gets a monster pop from the crowd.  He has his work cut out for him, as Fandango has been on a roll.  The fans love his music and sing it as he comes down.  Regal got top billing and entered the ring second. 

This went back and forth for a little bit, with Regal showing some of his wrestling abilities for his home crowd.  Unfortunately for him, and his fans, Fandango is on a tear right now, and he got the clean pin, in the middle of the ring.  Hit his music!  Da Da…da da da da. 

Wait a minute!  Jericho attacks and sends Fandango off the top of the stage.  Jericho offers his hand to Summer but she thinks better of it.  Finally, she takes Jericho’s hand and the two them dance off the stage to Fandango’s music.  Insult to injury there ladies and gentlemen. 

Winner:  Jericho & Summer

Loser:  Regal and Fandango

What’s Next:  More Jericho and Fandango leading to an epic PPV encounter. 

AJ Lee wins the Divas Battle Royal

Divas Battle Royal

Umm…ok, Bellas have been disqualified due to their cheating last week.  Long and short of it, AJ  
acts as if she’s been eliminated, only to come back, eliminate Layla and become the #1 contender to Kaitlyn’s title, who happened to be doing commentary.

Winner:  AJ Lee of course

Loser:  All other Divas

What’s Next:  AJ Lee will get her own title when she defeats Kaitlyn.

Out comes crazy old Mick Foley with a steel chair to the ring.  Foley calls for Ryback and out he comes.  Foley says he understands that if Ryback were to attack,  Foley would likely be beaten down, where he couldn’t get up.  Foley wants to know what happened to Ryback, where the Ryback went who took WWE by storm. 

Attitude Adjustment on Ryback!

Ryback isn’t interested in a walk down memory lane, and tells Foley to “Shut up.”  He tells Foley that he always does this, gets involved and sticks his nose in others business.  Ryback said he loved watching the Shield dominate Cena, wanted a title shot and got it.  He says he knows what he’s doing, and says Foley and the fans are stupid. 

Ryback goes on to call Foley, “Fat, lazy, pathetic bastard” and then Ryback challenges Foley.  Foley takes a fighting stance with the chair in hand, and Ryback smacks him.  Foley jumps in Ryback’s face, and Ryback takes the chair from Foley and tosses it out of the ring.  They are about to throw down and out comes Cena. 

Foley leaves the ring and now it’s Cena and Ryback about ready to fight. Out come the Shield…through the crowd as Cena slides out of the ring and walks up the ramp, as the Shield circles Ryback.  The Shield attack, and take Ryback down.  Cena runs down with the chair, and makes the save.  Cena and Ryback clear the ring and Cena attacks The Shield on the outside with the chair.  Cena drops the chair and slides into the ring and gets in Ryback’s face.  They start, and Cena puts Ryback up for the Attitude Adjustment and nails it.  Cena’s music plays as Cena makes his way up the ramp, stopping to salute Ryback as RAW goes off the air.  Pretty damn fun segment!