It’s Time for The Usos 2.0

It’s time for The Usos to change their clothes. Standing behind the king of boos, Roman Reigns, was a great look for the former Tag Team Champions. When the WWE World Heavyweight Champion needed backup, his family stepped up to match AJ Styles and his old buddies on Monday Night RAW. For the time being, The Usos became Reigns’ muscle, and it felt right. It’s a natural fit, and would lean nicely into character makeover for Jimmy and Jey.

The kids love the face paint and colorful shorts; that is understandable. WWE will always need superstars who appeal to children, but now more than ever, The Usos do not have to be those guys. Kalisto has arrived, and Bayley is on her way to being a giant star. AJ Styles, already fighting for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, is moving merchandise and endearing himself to the little ones. There is enough to make the kids happy without The Usos; it’s time for WWE to look into utilizing their talent elsewhere. It is time for The Usos 2.0.

Fantasy booking is the worst. It’s as meaningful as writing a Star Trek script from your basement that will never be read. Who has ever fantasy booked something that has come true? However, in the spirit of WWE’s “new era,” I am just going to assume that the following will be the first in the history of fantasy booking to defy those odds (hi, Vince).

Give The Usos a change of clothes; make them look like their cousin’s bodyguards. Get rid of the shorts and the energetic entrance. The face paint is fine, so long as the rest of their wardrobe is all black; black shorts, and a black tank. Also, they should not talk. If they’re silent, it will only add to this.

Note: It has been brought to my attention that “when we say Uce, you shut up” would be an acceptable phrase for the new-look Usos.

This Usos update could be accomplished for about $30 at Old Navy, so Vince, since you’re reading: let’s do this.

Follow on Twitter

Photo credit: WWE