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Top 5 ‘Worst WrestleManias of All-Time’ #2 – WrestleMania IX



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Top 5 ‘Worst WrestleManias of All-Time’ #2 – WrestleMania IX

WrestleMania IX – Caesars Palace – Las Vegas, Nevada, 1993

The show began with a graphic narrated by Vince- “Las Vegas! Caesars Palace! WrestleMania.” And we see a graphic of Bret Hart and Yokozuna on the front of the casino, facing off. We then threw it to the host, Gorilla Monsoon.

Gorilla then previewed the two main event matches, then introduced Jim Ross, who was making his WWF debut. Both men are in togas. The Roman motif is in full play, and the arena looks awesome. Jim Ross introduces Julius Caesar and Cleopatra, then Macho Man Randy Savage, with the “Vespa Virgins” who were carrying him in as he laid down, as he ate grapes. Then came Bobby The Brain Heenan, riding a camel backwards in a classic moment that has you rolling no matter how many times you see it. Heenan’s toga came up at one time. Hennan yelled at Savage for stealing his ride. They broke down the main events a little more, then sent it to the ring.

Shawn Michaels (C) (With Luna Vachon) vs. Tatanka (with Sherri) for the WWF Intercontinental Title.

This was Luna’s debut, before she got some work done. Sherri wasn’t so much with Tatanka, as much as she was against Shawn. Tatanka was riding a yearlong unbeaten streak at the time. They started off with some good wrestling, with Shawn working hard to control Tatanka. Shawn used a headlock and tried to run the ropes to take him over, but Tatanka countered with a back suplex. Tatanka caught Shawn coming off the top with an armdrag and hit a dropkick, then hit with a big chop that sent him off the apron to the floor. Luna went to help Shawn, but Sherri stopped her from getting to her. Tatanka stopped him from getting back in the ring with a series of Tomahawk chops, but Shawn went to the eyes and caught him with a top rope sunset flip for a two count. Tatanka caught him with a reverse atomic drop, then a DDT for a two count, then went to the arm. Heenan mentioned that Shawn had injured the arm in a previous match. Shawn got him into the corner and broke the hold, but missed a charge and hit the ringpost on the other side. Tatanka went back into the arm. Shawn fought out with some fists, but Tatanka came back with a shoulder breaker, then hit a top rope chop. He went for another one, but Shawn caught him with a superkick! This wasn’t his finish yet.

You can hear Macho Man’s admiration for Shawn in the commentary. Sherri cut off Luna again on the outside. The crowd was actually chanting for Sherri. Shawn caught Tatanka with a flying clothesline from the apron, then hit a swinging neckbreaker and a standing dropkick for near falls, before going to a chinlock. Tatanka broke the hold, but Shawn peppered him with a series of jabs and hit a modified victory roll for a two count. Tatanka came back with an Electric chair for a two count, but missed an elbow., Shawn hit a second rope double axhandle, but Tatanka went on the warpath! Tatanka hit a series of chops, then hit a Flying Bodypress for a two count, then catapulted him into the ringpost for a near fall. Tatanka went for the Samoan Drop, but Shawn escaped and rolled him up for a two count. Shawn went for a Bodypress of his own, but Tatanka turned it into a powerslam for a two count. Shawn tossed him to the floor. Shawn missed a body press from the apron and hit the steps. The ref was counting, but then Shawn tripped the ref and pulled him out of the ring! Tatanka hit the Samoan Drop, and the bell rang as Tatanka went for the cover and the fans starting booing. Tatanka gets the win, but not the title.

Winner: Tatanka via DQ, 18:13

After the match, Tatanka was despondent, and Sherri tried to cheer him up, but Luna came back out of nowhere and nailed her with a clothesline. Luna then bodyslammed her on the floor, and started kicking in the ribs until Tatanka ran her off. Damn.

Mean Gene sported an awesome red toga when interviewed the Steiners, who look damn weird in the WWF.

The Headshrinkers (Fatu& Samu) (With Afa) vs. The Steiner Brothers (Rick& Scott)

JR brought up Michigan basketball’s winning streak in the tournament. That’s actually the famed Fab 5. We get our first slobberknocker reference in WWF History. Scott and Fatu start off. Scott took him down a few times to start the match, but it soon broke out into a slugfest, and Scott turned him inside out with a Steinerline. Fatu soon backed Scott into the Headshrinkers double teamed him. Rick tried to come in, got thrown to the outside, as did Scott. The Steiners came back in with a stereo top rope clothesline and did their usually pose. Afa responded by clunking Fatu and Samu’s heads together and sending them back to fight. Rick and Samu then went at it. Samu had the advantage until Rick caught him with a Steinerline. Scott tagged in and planted him with a Tiger Bomb. But then Samu caught Scott and looked like he was gonna Hot Shot him, but Fatu pulled the top rope and Scott took a crazy bump to the floor, then Afa nailed him in the back with a kendo stick. Fatu then slammed him on the floor and tossed him back in. They pounded him a little more, then Fatu hit a backbreaker and a second rope headbutt, but Rick broke up the pin. Samu came in and hit a spinkick on Scott, but Scott cut him off with a boot. Fatu tagged in and kicked Scott to the floor. Rick and Fatu argued in the ring, and Samu came out and slammed him into the ringpost. Scott tried a facebuster, but Fatu no sold it and nailed him with a superkick.

Samu came in and used a reverse chinlock, then dropped an elbow and hit a standing dropkick. Scott tried to fight back on both men, but Samu cut him off to the eyes. They hit a backbreaker/top rope elbow combo, then Fatu drops a headbutt but Scott slips out. Fatu locked in a nervehold. Scott fought his way out, and the two nailed each with other a clothesline, but Fatu got the tag. Samu missed a top rope headbutt and Scott finally got the tag. Rick was cleaning house until he went to ram their heads together and they no sold it and hit a double headbutt. The Headshrinkers hit a double front Russian Legsweep on him, and looked for what looked like the Doomsday Device, but Scott caught Fatu out of midair with a belly to belly suplex while he was on Samu shoulders’ Holy Poop! Samu barely noticed to break up the pin. Scott tagged back in and hit an overhead Belly to Belly on Fatu, but Samu hit a superkick on him. Samu whipped him in, and Scott reversed it and hit the Frankensteiner (not the best one) out of nowhere for the three count. They sold it as the Steiners barley surviving.

Winner: Steiners via pinfall,  14:22

They played back when Doink attacked Crush with a plaster arm and put him out of action. Mean Gene then interviewed Doink, who got serious when Gene said Crush may get the last laugh. He replied that at the end of the night, Crush would be seeing double.

Crush vs. Doink

Crush is actually kinda over here. This creepy Doink played by Matt Bourne, with the character at its peak, to the point he actually gets cheered at certain points of this match. It is all Crush to start this match Doink doesn’t get in a single punch for the first few minutes of this match. Crush hits a neckbreaker, an over the top clothesline, and a backbreaker, but doesn’t go for any covers. Doink finally snaps his neck over the top rope to get some offense in. Doink slams him and tries to come off the top, but eats a boot. Crush nails Doink with a powerslam, but Doink rolls to the floor and tries to escape under the ring. Crush catches him and throws him back inside. He hit a gorilla press slam and applies his Head Crush submission, but Doink gets the ropes. The ref tries to break the hold and eats an elbow from Doink. Doink tries to escape again, but Crush catches him again. Crush hits a spinkick and applies the Head Crush again. Doink looks to be out, but then a second Doink comes out and blasts Crush with a plaster arm. Crush shakes off the first one, but two more to the head put him down. They do the famous Doink mirror image spot. Doink wakes up the ref and gets the three count. Doink looks creepy as shit as we see scowling with his makeup coming off. Damn, what a great gimmick that never met his full potential. Another ref, Bill Alfonso, comes out and tries to tell him what happened, and they actually look under the ring for the other one, but to no avail.

Winner: Doink via pinfall, 8:28

Todd Pentigill interviews a few Japanese fans in the crowd (maybe plants.) Racism ensues.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Backlund had returned months early after years off and had an incredible performance in the Royal Rumble. Razor had been real hot as a heel, but had been injured. The crowd is behind him here. He threw his toothpick at him when asked for handshake. Backlund got off to a quick start with some takedowns, but Razor cut him off to the body and a series of bodyslams. Razor pounded him in the corner, but Backlund fought back and started bouncing him around the ring. Backlund hit a double arm suplex for a two count. Backlund hit a huge atomic drop, then slingshotted him back in the ring when he tried to take a powder. Bob went to slam him, but Razor countered with a small package for the three count. Whoa.

Winner: Razor via pinfall, 3:45

Then went to the build of the tag title match. They showed when Money Inc, hit Brutus Beefcake in his surgically repaired face with the metal briefcase. Then they talked about Hogan’s face and said that thanks to them, Hogan’s face now looked worse than Beefcake.

Money Inc (The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase and I.R.S) vs. The Mega Maniacs (Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake) (with Jimmy Hart) for the WWF World Tag Team Titles

The Maniacs got a huge pop of course. Hogan has a huge black eye, from a jet ski accident the week before. It is, not as legend says, because Macho Man kicked his ass. The kayfabe story is that Money Inc found some thugs to beat him up outside the gym. Beefcake has on a mask to protect his injured face. Hogan has dropped a ton of muscle since WM 8. Steroids are a hell of a drug I guess…Money Inc tries to jump the Maniacs while the music is still playing, but Hulk and Beefcake take care of them. The match gets started and Money Inc quickly isolates Beefcake in their corner but when DiBiase hit a second rope axhandle on the mask, he hurts his hands, and Beefcake rams through his heads together. Beefcake gets the tag and Hogan hits a clothesline on DiBiase and goes to work. They hit a double boot on DiBiase, and they bounce him around for a minute until Hogan clotheslines him over the top to the floor, then tossed IRS out to the floor. Money Inc then tried to hightail it. But the ref then refused to count them out and tells the Fink to announce they need to come and back and wrestle or be stripped of the titles. Money Inc came in went to the eyes and they isolated Hogan. They took turns choking him with the tag rope behind the ref’s back. DiBiase locked on the Million Dollar Dream. He had the hold on for almost two minutes. Eventually IRS came in and while he had his back turned, Beefcake came in and put DiBiase in the sleeperhold. Both men are down.

Hogan actually sits up like the Undertaker and gets the tag. Beefcake is cleaning house until DiBiase hits him in the back with briefcase. Then it’s all Money Inc. They eventually take off the protective mask and work on the face. Beefcake hits a double clothesline but instead of going for the tag, he puts IRS in the sleeper. DiBiase climbs from behind, putting down both men and the ref. Hogan and DiBiase come in with the ref still out. Hogan nails both men with Beefcake’s mask and they have a double pin. Jimmy Hart turns over his jacket to the stripped part and makes the count, assuming that they won for some stupid ass reason. Another ref comes in and says that the Maniacs are disqualified. Money Inc wins.

Winner: Money Inc via DQ, 18:27

Afterwards, Jimmy throws the ref that overturned the decision over the top. What the heck just happened? And well, Hulk Must Pose. They then find the Money Inc briefcase and throw money into the crowd.

After Pentingill interviewed the President of Caesars, they went to Mean Gene with Mr. Perfect. He talked how he had a good week at the tables and hit a hole in one in golf. He was hot, and unlike Lex Luger, he didn’t need a mirror to tell him how Perfect he was.

“The Narcissist” Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger had several chicks in gold one pieces that didn’t cover much with him for his entrance. This may be the only time that his entrance got over. Perfect out wrestled Luger early, until Luger went to the eyes, but Perfect roared back with a running knee hit, a shoulder block, and a Perfect leapfrog into a dropkick. Luger took a powder and came back on the assault, but Perfect started to the attack then, even using a spinning toe hold, until Luger gave a hard whip into the turnbuckle, going after Perfect’s oft injured back. Luger dropped him with a pair of backbreakers. The announcers talked a lot about Luger’s mysterious record of knockouts including when he knocked out Bret Hart that day at a WrestleMania brunch. Perfect tried to fight back, but Luger kneed him in the gut and put his feet on the ropes, but the ref caught at two. Luger hit a powerslam for a two count, but Perfect came back with a sunset flip for a two count and locked in a sleeperhold. Luger backed him into the corner to break it, but Perfect stayed on the attack. Perfect grabbed a small package for a two count, then hit a backdrop, a catapult into the corner and the Ax (a clothesline, but with more the elbow than the bicep for a near fall. Luger went for a reverse atomic drop, but Perfect blocked and hit another Ax, then hit a missile dropkick for a two count. Perfect went for the backslide, but Luger blocked it with the ropes and dropped down for his own backslide and even though Perfect’s legs was in the ropes, but the ref counted to three!

Winner: Perfect via pinfall, 10:56

After the match, Perfect was arguing with the ref, and Luger then nailed with a running forearm and he was out. When Perfect finally recovered, and started to chase after Luger. He finds Luger in the back talking to Shawn Michaels and attacks him, but then Shawn comes from behind. He nails Perfect with a garbage can full of crap and then a broom handle before refs and officials come and break it up.

Then at the announce table, Macho was about to lose his shit on Bobby Heenan, over Luger knocking people out and he knew Heenan knew how he was doing it. JR had to do his best to break him them.

The Undertaker (with Paul Bearer) vs. Giant Gonzales (with Harvey Whippleman)

Gonzales is huge, but man is his outfit stupid. Undertaker made his entrance on a death chariot and had a scary looking vulture with him. Taker goes right after him to start the match. He tries to choke him, but Gonzales grabbed his throat and backs him up. Taker goes to the second rope to choke him, and Gonzales hits him with a low blow. He missed a charge and Taker stays on him but Gonzales caught him with a boot and a clothesline. Gonzales wrenched him a chinlock for a couple of minutes, then threw him to the floor and into the steps. But then Paul raised the urn, and Taker came alive. He hit Gonzales with everything he had and finally got him down to the mat. Harvey Whippleman jumped on the apron and threw a rag to Gonzales. Gonzales knocked Paul Bearer down and then started ramming the rag into his face. It’s the freakin ether covered rag. A giant needs an ether covered rag. The ref tries to break it, but he ends up calling for the disqualification.

Winner: Taker via DQ, 7:33

Post-match, Gonzales kept the rag into Taker’s face until he goes out. An Army of refs comes to try to break him off Taker. One takes a chokeslam. They get Taker on the gurney and carry him. The crowd is chanting for Hogan. Marks. Gonzales refused to leave the ring, but then Undertaker came out to a big pop. He hit Gonzales with everything and finally put him down with a Flying Clothesline. Paul Bearer held him back from going after him as Whippleman ordered Gonzales t the back.

They then previewed the title match, showing when Yokozuna destroyed Jim Duggan in a beating so savage that some stations than didn’t cover it, especially in high Asian-American markets. Then they showed when he laid out Bret Hart the week before. Hart had a trying week. But instead of the champion, they interviewed Hulk. Hogan gave Hart a warning of how dangerous Yoko was and said he and all the Hulkamaniacs were behind him. He even calls Yoko a Jap. Damn. He then challenged the winner of the match and said he believed Bret would win…Whatever you’ll pay to go see it, F**k You.

Yokozuna vs. Bret The Hitman Hart (C) for the WWF World Heavyweight Title

Despite all of the Hogan bullcrap, this comes in with big fight feel. Damn, Yoko was massive and his presentation was great. The bell rang and Bret went right at him a dropkick, then rained in punches. Bret tried to take his back, Yoko just threw him off and nailed with a shoulder block that sent him to the floor. Yoko tried to kick him from the ring, but Bret tied his foot in the rope and took him down, then slingshoted on top of him and started raining in punches, then hit a second rope elbowdrop. Bret had him going, but then charged into a clothesline. Yoko hit a bodyslam, then hit a massive legdrop for a two count. Yoko worked him over, then locked in a nervehold as clouds began to descend over Caesars. Bret fought out of it, but Yoko cut him and went for a charge in the corner, but Bret caught him with a boot and then tried to leap off the second rope into what looked like a sleeper, but Yoko tipped over and Bret got a two count. Bret came up, but Yoko caught him with a superkick, then went back to the nervehold.

Bret tried to fight, but Yoko broke the hold and whipped him looking for an avalanche, but Bret moved, then hit a second rope bulldog for a two count, with Yoko pressed him into the ref. Bret dropped a second rope elbowdrop for a two count. Bret dropped him with a Hart Attack clothesline, but Yoko was up quickly. Bret got 10 punch, but Yoko tried to come out, but Bret ripped the buckle off. Yoko tried to ram him into the exposed buckle, but Bret blocked it and rammed his head in! Bret then came from behind and managed to lock those massive legs in the Sharpshooter! The ref was asking, and Mr. Fuji threw the powder in Hart’s eyes and Yoko covered the three count. Get ready to vomit.

Winner: Yoko via pinfall,  8:55

Hogan came out to protest the decision and help Bret. Fuji then challenged Hogan for a match right now. Like whenever has that ever happened, who would be that dumb? Bret tells Hogan to go ahead. The bell never actually rings. Hogan and Yoko battle out, but Yoko grabs him so Fuji could throw the powder, but he moves. He decks Fuji. One clothesline and a legdrop later, we have the worst finish in the history And Hulk Must F**kin Pose.

Why Is The Second Worst WrestleMania: Do I really have to say it? This show had a lot of potential-the Roman Coliseum theme is great. The opening matches were good. There is actually a lot of good wrestling in this show. But Hogan’s tag match sucked, his interview was terrible, and then we have this bulls**t. Giant Gonzales don’t help matters either. But Hulk Must Pose…

"Frank has been a wrestling fan since he was two years old. (Don't worry, he's got proof.) He's also a huge boxing and UFC fan and has a long standing love affair with Popeyes Chicken. He still owns a VHS copy of the first Ring of Honor show ever and was watching NXT before it was cool (or good). Bret Hart > Shawn Michaels. You can follow him on Twitter at @FightFanaticPod and on Tumblr at FrankTheFightFanatic." He's also starting his own podcast soon!

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