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WrestleMania 33 Preview: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

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Earlier in the week Goldberg was quoted as saying he has been “miserable” this run, as if his fifty year old body has the wear and tear of a man who has been forced to earn a position he was allowed to walk through the doors and take based on his accolades from twenty some odd years ago.

With approximately 3 entire minutes of ring time since his return, WWE has hyped that Goldberg has “gone through everybody” when in reality the grunt work of keeping RAW afloat has been carried by Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho, who are relegated to the undercard in favor of a third bout between Lesnar vs. Goldberg. What analysis is there to do? The two have absolutely zero chemistry in the ring and their styles don’t even begin to complement one another. On one side, you have frail, aging Goldberg, who in his prime was merely a four trick pony as is against a physical bruiser like Lesnar, who now has his best weapons downgraded in an effort to preserve Goldberg’s battery life in a match that I don’t expect to even hit the 10 minute mark.  

After massively hyping their bout at Wrestlemania 20, the fans grew weary and let both departing superstars (Goldberg’s contract was up and Lesnar was leaving for the NFL) know it with chants as Goldberg and Lesnar sluggishly worked their way through one of the most disappointing bouts in the history of Wrestlemania, only to find themselves in the same position, twelve years later, with Goldberg’s body unable to absorb any amount of physicality. The Survivor Series rematch originally intrigued me, as I hoped they could make up for their mania faux pas and have a worthwhile bout, yet we saw Lesnar, the man who broke the Undertaker’s streak and destroyed John Cena, Randy Orton and more in mere minutes, lose in 90 seconds to a guy who could potentially be defeated by a sports hernia after lifting a heavy box or bending over a little too far.

For those readers who feel I am being unfair in my analysis of Goldberg, please understand that I am calling like I see it. Goldberg is forever cemented in wrestling history for his past accolades, but has no business in a WWE ring in his current state. He hasn’t done house shows, wrestled on RAW, or been required to take the steps that a reigning, defending champion should be required to do around ‘Mania season and on top of that, a week out from the biggest event of the year, and he goes on the record and claims he is “miserable”.

At least he was able to sum up what most of us are thinking about this match in a single word. It’s bound to be a short one, only this time around, Lesnar will be victorious and hopefully WWE will see that this dead horse has been beaten into a puddle. When the highlight of your first two bouts is “Stone Cold” Steve Austin giving both combatants a stunner, then you really don’t need to say anymore about it; may it be quick, fast and painless.

image credit – WWE

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